Disturbing

- The sticker on my McApplePie: "MUST USE BY 3:28PM, 4/14/2008." I only have an hour and a half to "use" it. Will it explode if I miss the deadline? Clearly, this pie was meant for Jack Bauer, and Jack Bauer alone.

- Return of the Jedi: oh, precocious Ewoks and their wacky defensive highjinks! But they're only cute until you realize that they are, in fact, gleefully smashing Stormtrooper skulls into hamburger meat with pointy rocks.

- Gordon Korman grew up! Impossible.

- Mushrooms

I couldn't take the pink anymore

So I cribbed a theme from Kuler. This will probably change again soon.

Too bad I can't do the same with my paisley-printed bedroom; this is the wallpaper that was here when we moved to this house, and it's too mah faan to change it. Bad: I dislike burgundy with a passion. Good: nice and dark at night.

My parents' home decor philosophy is to paint all the walls one shade of neutral, and carpet all the floors in another shade of neutral, so that when the time comes to sell the house, potential buyers will be impressed by the spaciousness of the rooms, and how easy it will be to repaint the walls when they move in (only five tablespoons of primer needed!) At least, that's what my mom keeps saying.

So I kind of like my tacky paisley room. And if anyone wants a comfortable ecru home, (with one eyeball rash of a bedroom), you know where to look.

(Hey, it's been a slow day, I have literally been staring at the walls, and was suddenly struck by the weirdness of all these blobby swirls. Man, I hate amoeba.)

Tweet

I woke up this morning to the sound of cardinal song; there's one (or more?) that's been in the neighbourhood for years. Very flashy, very cheeky, very red. The Ferrari of birds. Or maybe the Yaris of birds. Whatever.

Anyway, I realized that for over a year, (the duration of my stay in Japan plus this incredibly long winter), I didn't hear a single chirp. Youme Town always had artificial , pseudo-jungle sounds playing at the entrances, complete with waterfall sounds (lots of kids running into the mall and then straight for the bathroom) but I never heard anything from any real bird while I was living in Kumamoto.

It was really nice to hear it again today, made me giddy for warm weather and sunny days in my hometown. Of course, it's supposed to rain all day and get 10 degrees colder tomorrow, but that's not important. Today, and right now, I'm excited about summer plans of travelling, seeing old friends, and generally having fun before I go back to school.

(Ah yes, I'm starting at Centennial's Book & Magazine Publishing program in September; gonna learn to make books like a pro, and not like I did before, with glue oozing into my papercuts, cannibalizing magazines for pictures, snapping all my needles trying to sew signatures together and scrounging for cardboard to use for covers. And copyediting and layout and stuff.)

Backwards Mullet?

Dear Postmodern Youth,
Is this what they call "emo"?
Signed, Dazed and Confused

I must learn, but I fear my steps will never be small enough. Thus, a plea for guidance, in the form of a haiku, from those who are have greater wisdom, more soul-killing angst, and tighter pants than I.

Emo emo emo emo emo emo emo...

Cheap lazy blog post

'Low Functionality', 'Sightly Imaginative'...what the hell is that supposed to mean? Talk about damning with faint praise. Okay, I agree I can be kind of controlling/neurotic about details, so 'Slightly High Authoritarianism' is fitting, but I function perfectly fine.

'Very High Femininity': Maggie & Lyd decided that of the three of us, somehow I was the most girly. How? Why? This I don't understand.

Finally, 'Very High Trust'...in myself? In others? Very ambiguous and slightly worrying. After all, do not want to be a girly, non-functioning, gullible, and stodgy individual. Please don't tell me that's how people see me.

My genius is hard at work

Anyway, enough whining. This haiku is for Biku, as some may see on her Facebook wall:

"Tofu is yummy!
Soybean miracle in fridge!
SPLAT... Alas. No more."

Why

...do ladybugs find my room so enticing?

...can't I sleep?

...are drivers in Toronto such aggressive, tail-gating, non-signaling, swerving, speeding, lane-hogging, inattentive, irresponsible jerks?

...do I suck at life?

It's been a rough couple of weeks. Headspace not good and feeling very sorry for myself, for many inconsequential and childish reasons. Whinge, whine, complain. Just need to get it out of my system and to try to remember the good stuff in life. Like kittens.

They come in many forms

An idiot wearing a douchebag tie.

An idiot on a golf course.

The coolest idiots on the face of the planet.

Anyway, today's mammoth storm was mammoth fun...at least it was for me. Baked a cake, shoveled some snow, read some Naruto (God help me), hauled some snow, watched Utaban, climbed up the mountain of white stuff beside the driveway and fell into the 4ft snowdrift next to the house. Oops. Retreated back inside and nurtured my brain by watching Robot Chicken. Buk buk buk.

Well duh

My life is an abyss

I have failed yet again to rrroll up and win.

Thus, a drab, sad, little haiku, from the soul of a devastated double-double fan who will never win that 2009 Toyota Matrix dammit:

I rrroll up the rim
Doom, "Réessayez S.V.P."
A drained cup, drained heart.

Why, Tim, why?!

In other news...

My nephew is very cute.


He is also a mugger:

Very no!

I thought I had broken myself of the Engrish habits I picked up during my stay in Japan, but apparently some changes have embedded themselves in my subconciousness.

Me: (post meeting)Okay, I'll get started on this after lunch...see youuu! Bai bai!

On the other hand, the Japanese that I had learned is seeping out of my brain at an alarming rate. Hajimemathingumie? So so so so so.

I've been flipping through my Lonely Planet phrasebook to practice my reading and work on my vocabulary. Unfortunately, this only resulted in my learning how to say "I take mushrooms occasionally" and "I need a potty/putter/acupuncture." Maybe Lonely Planet isn't the best route.

いきましょう

I want to travel, to go somewhere and see something new and unfamiliar. Maybe it's because I'm in the middle of 20 straight days of being at my church (for work, a concert and a funeral). Or perhaps it's because my parents are going to Hawaii for a week without me in March. Probably it's because I am being pummeled by a classic Canadian winter that I haven't experienced in over a year.

But I've had dreams recently about my trip last August, towards the end of my year in Japan, where I traveled by myself around Kyushu & western Honshu; it was so damn fun and supremely liberating. Of course, the evenings were dull as tombs (Japanese nightlife not so fun for the single traveler), but it was probably the best trip I went on that year. I went from Kumamoto to Beppu, to Hiroshima, to Yamaguchi/Hagi, to Fukuoka and finally back to Kumamoto. I embarassed myself here, here, and here.

My favourite memory of my JR (Japan Rail) trip was renting a spiffy, old, red bicycle for 4 hours (150 yen per hour). Basically, I cycled around Hagi, biking non-stop with a ragged map in one hand, my bag in the basket, with a carton of lemon tea nestled beside it. It's not exactly a thrilling place, and didn't have many sights to see but I really enjoyed tearing around this old samurai town, with no schedule to follow, no train to catch, no destination in mind. Just sat on the beach, wandered into the city museum, dodged mutant dragonflies and watched the nuns pop some wheelies.

(I talked to this cat for about a minute before I realized that there was an obaasan around the corner, watering her plants and listening to me prattle in both English and Japanese. D'oh.)

When I got back to Kumamoto...
Me: "I went to Hagi last week"
Japanese friend: "....Why would you do that?"

Maybe later I'll write about my trip in more detail (attack of the giant okonimiyaki, drunk calling from my ryokan, etc.) but for now I am toying with the idea of going somewhere by me-self after my 6 months of work are over. Europe? Japan? & HK? Cross Canada road trip?

いきたい!

Pope X-ray Vision

Bwahaha.

The highlight of my day at katebeaton.com

"Why you gotta forgive?"
"That's just how I roll."
"You the real deal, John Paul."

JBJ + Curling = Fun for all!

Bon Jovi, the Boss considered for curling reality show: report
http://www.cbc.ca/sports/curling/story/2008/02/11/curling-rockstar-boss.html

"Sex, drugs, guitars — and curling?

The Toronto Star reported Monday that NBC has acquired exclusive rights to launch 10 episodes of a proposed television show called Rockstar Curling. Bruce Springsteen and Jon Bon Jovi, apparently closet curlers, are among the megastar rockers being courted to host it.

Citing unnamed sources, the Star said the two rock stars are among a group of entertainment types who rent arena time on occasion to pick up brooms instead of guitars. Organizers are trying to negotiate a deal to get one of them involved in the proposed show, possibly as a host.

The series' winners could wind up with a berth at the U.S. championships and perhaps at the 2010 Olympics in Vancouver.

...

Curling was a surprise hit for NBC during the last two Winter Olympics, once getting better ratings than an NHL playoff game at the same time the following day.

The show would begin with nationwide tryouts, continue with the 10 chosen contestants receiving six months of free training in Lake Placid, N.Y., and conclude with the Olympic trials in February 2009, according to the Star."

---------------------------------------------
In reality, the equation would probably be more like:

JBJ + Curling = Donuts + Beer = Somewhat Doughy, Rather Less Attractive Rockstar

I can live with that.

I's Back

A long 4 months of depressing non-employment, but now I'm working again, so what better way to really validate this new job by slacking off and posting to my dusty, neglected blog. Ha!

Babies are a precious treasure

One must study and prepare carefully for their arrival...


Play with them...


Nurture them...


And treat them with the dignity and respect that one would give to any other human being.

Kobuta is a Facebook Status Update

Today
Kobuta is rolling rolling rolling. 12:13am

Yesterday
Kobuta is samui. 1:29pm

October 22
Kobuta is an aunt and can't get enough of her chubby new nephew. 11:36pm

October 20
Kobuta is being deluged with family. 9:43pm

October 19
Kobuta is experiencing movie sign! 6:19pm

October 16
Kobuta is sleeping. 2:55am

October 12
Kobuta is Kingston bound. 3:13pm

October 10
Kobuta is in need of good birthday present ideas. 11:38pm

October 8
Kobuta is rewriting her resume but it's coming out in Engrish. 3:22pm

October 4
Kobuta is still so hungry. 6:14pm
Kobuta is so hungry. 1:26pm

October 1
Kobuta is missing her cellphone oops. 4:15pm

September 30
Kobuta is disappointed by HP7. 6:28pm

September 28
Kobuta is taking off the kid gloves and putting on the Very Angry Gloves. 9:00pm
Kobuta is redesigning. 5:33pm
Kobuta is full of despair! 1:10am

September 26
Kobuta is feeling trigger happy. 8:16pm

Hey baby!

Dear Ethan Malcolm Yao Zhi (崔堯智),

Welcome to this crazy place. I love your name. Congratulations to your momma and papa, you sure tired them out, all 8 pounds, 4 ounces of you.

Regards,
The World

---

Many hours of labour for poor KT, but she's a tough cookie and Stubborn Ethan popped out at about 2.30pm. Ming worked hard too, playing Halo and calling family and friends with updates. Ethan (or Tsui BB) is a Pig, just like me. But he's special because he's a Golden Pig (shiny!); according to the Chinese Zodiac, it's an especially auspicious year to be born. Go baby go! I'm looking forward to seeing him grow and play and learn and gik his daddy (and only his daddy) in return for some of HM's more difficult childhood moments (threatening to run into someone's house with a car, sitting on a cactus, etc).

Welcome Baby Ethan! We love you.

Attention!

Baby Alert has been raised to Defcon 4. All troops prepare for raid on soon-to-be-parental units.